From January-March I could already feel my schedule going crazy!! Traveling constantly for music students, running around with homeschooling, field trip, getaways, vacations, and I was already committing to more. I finally had to put my foot down and just SLOW DOWN what I was doing.
We made a home music studio, so I don't have to travel as much for music lessons, and it gives me a lot more time with my boys and my husband because I'm not gone all day. I still teach twice a week at Music and Arts which gives me a good "work day" without being overwhelming. During the week it's been so much nice lately. No big plans, just taking a slow summer and resting and healing. Yes, we still meet up with friends, yes we still have fun, but it's not an every day "must do something". The kids get more time to play legos, play board games, go bug collecting, go swimming.... just days to do nothing but clean up and play.
Recently a sweet friend came down to help me with Mira's one year anniversary of being gone. It was great to get some girl time, pedicures, and also kept me busy enough I didn't completely spiral into depression. It was a fun weekend at the beach, and doing a bunch of fun stuff! I like that we choose the weekends to be busy, but it's not our life. Yes, people think I still run crazy, but that's because they don't see just how much amazing at home time we get. To just rest. To just be a family. To just have days with no major commitments.
I'm loving this new pace, and this amazing balance. I have church, music, and friends for my social outlets and musical outlets, and encouragement, but it doesn't consume our time and our lives.
I used to thrive on being busy and always doing things and having a completely full schedule. With major loss and life changes, I've learned just how beautiful it can be to slow down, enjoy the small things, and give myself time to just be.
I've learned it's okay to have days where we do movies, snuggles, and lazy days. I've learned it's okay to go at a slow pace so I don't burn myself out. I've learned it's okay to say "no" to things when I truly don't need to commit to more. I've learned it's okay to let go of friends who are more draining than encouraging.
It's okay to just take care of my family and not have to be "busy" and be everything for everyone else.
There are seasons to life. Seasons of busyness, seasons of slow, and seasons of joy and seasons of grief. I never knew before just how physically exhausting deep grief could be. Being busy doesn't escape it. Taking time to heal, slow down, and not over burden myself makes a big difference.
I can't mentally handle the busy rush of life I used to thrive on. I'm learning to enjoy the quiet and the stillness. Our three boys keep life busy and amazing, and I'm so thankful for them. I'm also thankful that they are learning to just love being together and being home, and not have to always be out and busy.
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