Relearning I AM capable!!

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Through the process of a divorce I am relearning a lot about myself.  I have always felt like I was independent and capable, but through a decade of marriage I became fully intertwined and dependent on a partner (as it should be).  

The last few months I have purchased my NEW own car for the first time!  I also was able to buy my own house completely on my own for the first time! 

I have been very blessed and thankful for a decade to have the help and support from my ex husband.  It was mildly terrifying to think I would be doing this on my own financially.  This whole process I have been shocked at being able to qualify for things.  I have been so thankful for the help and support from so many family and friends encouraging me through this!  

I have learned that I am completely capable of doing hard things I have reassured myself that I am able to take care of my kids financially and it’s made me even more thankful for having a husband helping before and for a fiancé helping me moving forward!!  

I’ve learned I can do the hard things I’m thankful I don’t always have to and I have one so much gratefulness through the stress and through the chaos of all of this

This was a lesson I keep relearning throughout new phases.  Learned this when I got my first apartment at 19.  Learned this again when I joined the army against all people thinking I would fail.  Learned this again through intense trials and struggles with health and crisis.  

Thankful I can keep growing and keep learning!  

I am looking forward to our next phase of life! 

Reflections on marriage

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Yes, I know that coming from someone going into her third marriage this might seem a bit absurd, but I’ve learned a lot over the decades.  I saw some things in my Bible study today that I found good reflections and encouragements as I look into another marriage. 

Luke 6:39

And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch?

At the end of the day, marriage is unique unto itself and I’ve learned a lot of good and bad lessons looking back into it. 

Marriage when focused on God can be one of the most amazing blessings.  Marriage is also some of the most challenging and difficult things.  It opens you up to be completely vulnerable with another person which opens up to great love but also great hurt.   Marriage when growing in the same direction and you are both directed to God can overcome some of the most amazingly hard situations and traumas.  When one or both start moving in different directions and can no longer work their love past their constant hurts then it collapses.  

Every day it is critical to pray words over your marriage every day.   When you focus on how much your spouse annoys you, disappoints you, or their failures you will never grow a loving marriage.  When you pray and focus you and your spouse through Gods lens, and make the decision to grow together in Gods word you can overcome the most trying of obstacles.  

I personally never went into a marriage hoping it would fail, and I definitely did it wrong in many ways.  My first marriage I focused on the physical fun and tried to grow God later on which ended up collapsing when we were separated due to the military.  We had no solid foundation.  My second marriage we started off with a child and lots of trauma from the military, but we went into our marriage deciding that in spite of our stark differences we were both determined to put God first.  That mindset helped us go through severe health crisis, financial crisis, and lots of loss.  The reason it collapsed is when we started focusing on how much we failed each other through our traumas and quit putting God as the center or our relationship.  

Going into a third marriage I learned the critical point of keeping God the base first.  Before physical, before emotional, before all the highs and lows of life.   When God is your foundation, you can overcome anything because the focus is not on each other and your mistakes as a person, but it’s about an almighty creator who helps keep the perspective on Him!

Here are verses to pray over a marriage to help keep your mindset where it needs to be. I look forward to starting a marriage in the right way with the right focus. 

Romans 8:31

What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?

1 John 4:16-19

And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him.  Herein is our love made perfect, that we may have boldness in the day of judgment: because as he is, so are we in this world. There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.We love him, because he first loved us.

Deuteronomy 31:8

And the LORD, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.

Proverbs 24:3-4

Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established:And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches.

Philippians 2:1-4 

If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies,Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

Remember whatever stage of marriage you are in to never stop putting God as your focus   Daily pray for your spouse and seek God in where you need to work on your relationship.

We are all humans with lots of problems and focusing on that will collapse any relationship.  

I’m thankful for second chances and the ability for Gods blessings during new and growing phases of life.  I am so thankful for his grace and guidance.   Looking forward to learning and growing in my new marriage!