Mom Guilt.
My first child I was going to do it all RIGHT! Cloth diapers, breast feed, no solids til 6 months, sleep routine, and make it all easy.
Cloth diapering did happen! Success. Now, he went to formula by 4 months because my supply stopped. This caused the next THREE YEARS of mom guilt! Why did I not try harder? Why didn't I nurse through it, what if he has health problems? What if he isn't smart enough because of the formula? what if... what if...
This causes mom guilt.
Second child this was going to be great! With him I was able to nurse, but only because he had tummy issues and colic, and everything hurt him, including formula. Nursing 24/7 felt like so I had no time for my 18 month old running circles around me. Nursing the colicky crying baby when I was crying to because there was nothing else I could do. Mom guilt. Why is he colicky? Why is he never sleeping? Why is diet elimination so hard? Why... why... why?
This causes mom guilt.
I could go on for hours and days and paragraphs of all the mom guilt things! What if our weekly pizza night isn't nutritious enough? Why did we hit McDonalds that week when I know it's chemicl-laded? Why did I not sit and play legos one more hour? Why did I let them watch 3 hours of TV on a Saturday so I could rest? Why am I not doing more? Why am I not being more??? Why can't I get a pinterest project to work? Why can I not think of amazing meal plans? Why will my two year old not potty train? Why does my 4 year old have so many fears? Why am I not for comforting for him? Why ... ??
More mom guilt.
This mom guilt also becomes amplified when you feel like this makes you a bad wife too. Why do I not deep clean every week? Why do I not make phenomenal meals well rounded every meal? Why do I not embrace date nights and kid free nights? Why am I not the picture perfect 50's housewife who just caters to her spouse every day and LOVES to clean and cook?
As a mom filled with anxiety, depression, bipolar and numerous problems, mom guilt happens all too often!
Something I am learning to embrace is that God made ME the perfect mom for MY kids! Each of my children are different, and I am the mom they need for me.
My two year old will NOT be potty trained like the other ones at the same time. My baby will go to formula quicker. My six year old will be a little oddball. My four year old will be my one that needs extra snuggles every day.
Don't feel bad that you forgot to bathe your baby for a week because she didn't seem that dirty, even though you bathed your older two EVERY DAY of their lives!! Don't feel bad that because your oldest self potty trained, that next two refused to. Don't feel bad that only ONE child successfully nursed past 6 months. Don't feel bad that your family needs those Pizza nights to avoid mommy break down. Don't feel bad that you sent them outside for hours so you could take a break. Don't feel bad they know all the episodes of Mickey Mouse from Disney Jr because you needed that time to rest.
Social Media lets us see the Highlights (THE GOOD AMAZING MOMENTS) of everyone else. It doesn't let us see the dark, scary, guilt ridden, crying all night, ice cream binging moms that we become. Quit trying to be the "perfect mom" because guess what??? No one is! That's right. NO MOM HAS IT ALL TOGETHER!! We are all learning day to day what works for our family. As seasons and times of life change, so do we. It is a constant learning curve with lots of bad moments.
Quit going over all those long crying bad moments. Instead, let go and remember that you DID remember to play trains that one time. Remember that your kids see you as a super mom rockstar and you are the world to them.
Let us all strive to be the best for our families and don't compare and cry over every detail.
My new checklist:
My kids are happy
My kids are healthy
My kids are fed.
My kids know that I love them every single day.
Hey, I'm a good mom :)
Love love love!!!!
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