Friday, March 8, 2019

The face of depression, and the side you don't see.



Do you know what you don't see??  Depression.


See my smiling face?  See how happy my social media is?  See how many awesome friends I have?  See how cute my makeup is?

This is what depression looks like.

What you don't see is when the pain is so bad I can't get out of bed.

What you don't see is when my depression overtakes me and I cry for hours

What you don't see is when my anxiety takes over.

Now, this is not about just me or a "pity me" post.  This is a reminder that not everyone "looks" depressed.  That mom with her new baby?  She might be struggling with Post Pardum that you don't know.

See that mom without a baby?  She's had two miscarriages and you ask her why she doesn't have a family yet.

See that smiling couple?  They are struggling and hurting.

Yes, I'm thankful for my friends.  I have an amazing family, and amazing job, and an amazing homeschooling life.  

But there is a lot that still hits me on my bad days.

Depression does not define me, but it still hurts.   It's a permanent part of my life due to the chemical and hormonal imbalance I struggle with. (and the multiple traumas at this point)  It's a daily and life long balance of mental and physical health for the rest of my life.  

But the days you don't hear from me?  It's probably because I"m too exhausted to keep checking on everyone else.  The days I smile but look empty?  It's because I'm too worn to keep going that day.


I've written other blogs on how I cope with depression, and yes, I still do those things.  No, this is not a cry for help or concern.

Sometimes it's just a good reminder that others are hurting.  

The person that is always reaching out to you might just need someone to reach out back to her.  

Check on your strong friends, for very often they are there for others, and people forget to check on them.


When you are struggling remember:

Still GET UP every day.  Even when it hurts

You DO matter to others

Take care of yourself.

Hiding out with chocolate and Netflix is ok but don't forget to take a shower too at some point.


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