People ask me weekly when they see my schedule, "HOW do you do it ALL??" "You must be super energetic" "You must be a super mom!!". Although a big part of me wants to say of COURSE I'm amazing and can do it all. The reality is I CAN NOT.
Step one: Rely on God.
Through the worst of the worst and the best of the best without God to comfort and guide so many areas of my life I would not make it. I would be more of a mess than I already am, my marriage would not be as it is, and I would not be raising my children without God's guidance. In short, there is a LOT of strength when you rely on God and trust in Him.
Step two: You can never do it all.
I joke that I can work full time, homeschool my kids, clean my house, have an amazing marriage, do college... I can do any two at most given times. Each of these things is a time consuming and energy draining thing. I homeschool my kids, teach them how to clean, spend full time with my husband when I'm not out working 4 days a week.
I carefully learn when to give and take. Some weeks are MAJOR family time because we can get lazy with our bonding. Some weekends they go to grandmas so I can power through and focus on college. Some weekends my husband and I do our getaway and let our house be messy so we can focus on our marriage. Some weeks we ignore school to reset our cleaning at the house....
Every day you have to decide what's the most important and aim for 1 or 2 things, not all of them.
Step three: Have a support system!
The moms who help me with Bible study and encourage me... the Grandparents that help the days I can't anymore.. The teenager who babysits so we can get out for an evening... the people who come help us clean... the moms that go on adventures with us. The understanding music parents who let me reschedule during chaos.
It doesn't always "take a village" but it's amazing to have the support and love of others to keep you encouraged and built up.
Step four: QUIT COMPARING!!
Yes, some moms will eat 100% healthy while others do take out. Some do public school, others home-school. Some will be amazing cleaners while others have organized chaos. Some will be there for you no matter what and some are only social polite friends.
Every mom is different. Every kid is different. Every marriage is different. Every home is different.
Focus on what GOD wants for you and your family and rest in whatever season you are in.
With a newborn, you probably won't have a spotless house. We have older (4-8 year old) who now help with a LOT of the chores. My husband cooks the majority of our meals so I can teach music. We balance, we help, and we do what our family needs for us. Don't do something just to be like someone else. You don't always know their story, or why that works for them.
Step five: Organize where you can.
For us personally having a whiteboard in the living rooms gives us a guide. We put big appts on there, our weekly overview, and what chores we focus on.
I dont' do laundry except for weekends because it's too overwhelming during my work days. We clean every Friday (so don't come over on a Thursday when it's a hot mess.) We flex our homeschool to work for our family. We eliminate a LOT of extra commitments. Each kid does ONE sport (group Karate, yay!!) I teach them music so we aren't running to extra teachers.
Step six: Don't beat yourself up when you can't do it all.
Give yourself a rest day. Give yourself time to decompress. Don't over plan every moment.
My husband does the grocery shopping for me and meal planning.
My kids keep the upstairs clean so I never do.
We do what works for us.
Depend on your support system, trust in God, and be there for each other.No mom is "super mom". You don't see the days I spend all week curled up in bed and crashing. You only see the "facebook" side of my life.
We have an INCREDIBLE life and I'm thankful for it, but also realize you see the highlights.
Thank you to all the amazing people who have become our "village" and are there for us!!
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