Lately it's been feeling like a small word a little bit. I've lost close friends (yet again) due to things that were outside of my control. Every time a long time friend steps away it hits me hard. I feel like we have lost so much in our lives, so each person who walks away hurts even more.
I'm not mad at anyone. I know it's probably even my fault a lot of the time. I am a LOT of emotions, and our life is a LOT of up and downs and crises. We try our best to keep it stable for our kids, but we are not the traditional family. Our "normal" is so far outside of most peoples normal that they don't even know how to handle it. Our family has become so desensitized so things that we also don't even see it a lot of times.
Things that are "normal" to us that we are learning are hard on others:
My husband is home full time
We have a LOT of health crises
My kids have a morbid sense of humor
We all have a lot of big emotions we do our best to process
We travel a lot
We seem to have an "easy" life financially, even though we don't
Things that people don't see:
Yes, we struggle a LOT with our mental health, but we are constantly working to show grace and love and grow as a family. You don't see the days we cry and snuggle and try to process how hard things are and happen.
Yes, my husband is home full time. You don't see his PTSD, his episodes, his struggles. You also don't see how much he loves his boys and is there for them a LOT at home, even if he's not in public. You don't see that through his struggles he's raising three incredible young men.
Yes, we seem to have an easy life financially. You don't see the damage and sacrifice that my husband made for that
.
You don't see the hours we invest into music business, college, and things to make sure our kids are well provided for.
Yes, we love our life. We love our kids. But we also know that it's not easy for others to be a part of all the time.
DO know this.
We will LOVE you unconditionally.
We will SUPPORT and be there for you as much as we can!
We will be there to ENCOURAGE you with homeschooling, children, marriage, and any way we can.
We will be there for BIBLE studies, and prayer through the hardships.
We may not always be what you need, and you may need to walk away and that's okay. But, for those who are here for whatever season we are in, we welcome you and love you!
It's a small and crazy world, but at times knowing we have a community of friends that is constantly changing and evolving is encouraging for me.
The hard days I'm thankful for those friends I can call and they will show up when we hurt! For those that used to be there and had to walk away, I'm still thankful for you too! Even if our paths have changed, know that we love you always, you are in our prayers often, and if life brings us back together, we will be there for you openly always!
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