Every year our church host a Marriage Retreat! The last three years we have lived here we have gone, and it has done wonders for us as a couple. The first year our marriage (and our personal lives) desperately needed the preaching. The second year, it was very reaffirming for us to look and see how far we had come that year. This year was our third year and it was once again, wonderful!
Now, for some the retreat may be about sight seeing, amazing dinners, good fellowship, and yes, those are all valid reasons for needing a getaway; but, for us, it is a way for us to get time "unplugged' from our normal life to reevaluate and see what we need to work on as a couple. This year, due to health needs, we almost did not attend, but I am so thankful that we were able to come and came out refreshed.
These are the main reasons we do and love the marriage retreats every year!
1) ALONE time unplugged from normal life.
With four small children, it can be so easy to get wrapped up in the every day worries and issues of life. We talk more about what we did with the children that day than we do about what we do as a couple. Our focus at home, more often than not, is things we want and plan for our family and children. Although that is not a bad thing, every couple needs time to focus on them.
This year we were able to spend our afternoons alone learning and discussing and catching up on OUR relationship and what WE needed and like and improved in our marriage.
2) Reevaluate goals and life.
Our first marriage retreat, we felt our marriage was falling apart and major life stress. By the second retreat, we looked back on the previous year on what had changed, how we improved, and what we wanted to continue.
This was our third retreat. This year we had big discussions on our new phase of child rearing (those "school age" years, versus the "toddler" years) and what we wanted to implement as parents. It also gave us a good check point on what were we slacking on, and what areas we wanted to improve in our relationship!
3) Getaway!
This part is fun for me because I love to see new places, and try new restaurants, and visit new things! Even though the preaching and learning is amazing, and the sitting back and resting is great, we also love that we get a chance to sight see!
Last year we spent a fun weekend in San Antonio and saw so much as a couple with amazing memories. This year we have good memories of watching sun set over the lake, good food on the river, and the scenery of hills, tress, and a quieter place in Texas. We also now have good plans to come back as a family another time.
Now, you don't ever "know it all" so there is always a take away from each retreat. First year it was SO much concerning how we treated and expected things from each other. Last year we felt finances were a struggle, and we worked hard on it. This year we got a lot out of the child classes for starters. As a parent of young children your days can get caught up in the "am I really doing this right?" "am I messing up these kids for the future?" It was good for us to talk and listen to older couples who have already been through this and reassure us (and give us good pointers) that we are doing well and how we can improve.
BE EXCEPTIONAL!! I cannot stress this enough!! It is not "hard" to be married when you are a good Christian. When we have an exceptional relationship with Christ, it makes our relationship with our spouse Exceptional too!! When we have an exceptional relationship with our spouses, it makes our relationship with our children EXCEPTIONAL! We only have ONE chance at being married to our spouse. We only have ONE chance to raise our children right. We only have ONE life to live for God!! Focus on how to improve spiritually, emotionally, and physically, and you will end up with an exceptional life!
When I focused hard on what God wanted, and how much God loved me, it was so much easier to believe and accept that same love from my husband. When I felt secure with my marriage, it made me feel more confident as a mother. When I felt confident as a mother, it made me open up more and be happier with my friends. Every relationship rolls into the next. Start at the top with God, and focus on them as they roll down to spouse, children, friends, etc.
Definitely and strongly recommend always going to these retreats. Even when we "know everything" who doesn't love a quiet and relaxing weekend to just unplug, rest, and recharge!
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