Nevertheless, when things got hard, she persisted!

Yesterday I finally walked for my college graduation.  Now, to some this is not a big deal, especially doing this at 32 years old, but for me it is a major achievement. 

WE ALL have our Bachelor's now.  SO proud of the Hartman crew!

When I finished high school 14 years ago, I honestly thought that four years later I would be done with college, ready to start my amazing career and life. If you would have told me that I would have gone through all that I have and not finished until my 30's, I would have felt like a failure.  However, I've learned that it means so much more to me now than it would have 10 years ago.

What I have learned is when things are hard... I have learned to not quit.

At 19, when I first started college I dropped out before my first semester when relationships got hard.  I started again the next year and again quit when life got overwhelming.  At the time I felt like a complete failure, and didn't know what I would ever accomplish.  After I enlisted in the Army I learned that even when I want to quit, and when I physically and mentally am at my end...I can still go on.  When people leave my life, bash my character, and I'm physically drained... I can still do it.

After my first son was born, I realized that I wanted him to have an example to follow.  I decided to go back to school.  Two and a half years into my Nursing program, my husband got sick, life got insane, and I had to stop to take care of our family.  I switched over to a Music program once we settled back down.  I finished my Associate's degree in Music and then realized to get my Bachelor's that I would have to transfer to a very expensive school and it seemed like once again I wouldn't finish this "simple" thing of a Bachelor's degree.

Chelsea, my college mentor

After my daughter was born, I re-enrolled into Online school so I could take classes, take care of my family, and still make a priority of learning and continuing with my goals.  Using WGU (Western Governor's University) I was able to affordably go back to college. 

People ask me "Why get the degree? What are you going to do with it?  Aren't you going to work now?"  Honestly.. I got the degree because I needed to know that I could finish a major thing even with difficult times.  Through the loss of my daughter halfway through this, losing two more babies since her death... taking care of my husband with numerous health scares.. homeschooling... running a music studio.  People ask is it worth it.  People ask if I would do this all again.

Short answer: Yes.

I've learned through loss, devastation, dealing with my own physical health and mental health, that when I set a goal, I can do it.

Now I did not do this all alone.  Many, many times I wanted to give up.  I learned that my mentor with my college gave me lots of encouragement, my husband who kept me going when I wanted to quit, and my amazing three boys who I wanted to see that mom could do the hard things.  They may not understand it all now, but when they grow up, I want them to look back and remember the days that mom took care of them, but also prioritized her own goals.  Mom did not lose herself to depression and anxiety, and trauma.  I want them to grow up and when their life feels impossible, to know that they can do the hard things.  I would get discouraged when I would see my younger brothers accomplish their degrees younger and faster.  I would feel like I would never end when I switched to my third degree plan to find a way to make it work for my family.  BUT, I wasn't a failure, and I didn't give up!

I did it differently than planned, but I did finish.

I'm so incredibly thankful for the amazing help and support I have been given along this journey.  I am SO glad that I never gave up and quit.  Did it go the way I planned?  No.  Would I do it again?  In a heartbeat.

Just remember, that when things get hard, YOU can DO the hard things!!

It may feel impossible in the moment, but step by step it can be done.  Pace yourself, and if it takes you 14 years instead of 4, it's still better than never finishing it at all.