I read something today that gave me a huge new perspective:
Proverbs 31:30
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
1) YOU are a woman worth celebrating
2) Wisdom is a gift from God and a process of learning who God is
3) Our stories and struggles do not disqualify us.
Proverbs 2:1-5
My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee;So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding;If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures;Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God.
So much of my life as I look back I see the mess. I see the teenage girl who was never good enough and didn’t fit in. I see the 20 year old girl who made poor choices and ended up with the wrong guys many times. I see the 25 year old who felt worthless through how hard she was trying to manage kids and a sick husband. I see the 30 year old going through intense losses and feeling like her world was crumbling.
When I read Proverbs 31 I was constantly comparing myself to a woman I never felt I could attain to. It was a list of things I never was good enough for and others in my life constantly reminded me that I was never enough.
Today as I saw this perspective it was life changing. Proverbs 31 was written as a celebration of women and a woman who was God focused first. It wasn’t to tear her down and remind her of how worthless she felt by comparison, it was a way to show women how incredible they were!
Throughout the insanity and trauma and struggles of my life the constant is at the end of the day I seek God. I want His will and His way for my life. I may not look like other girls and many will never see the day to day of ways I follow God. Many will judge and decide I am never good enough or spiritual enough.
At the end of the day I am a woman and a mom who makes mistakes and may not always measure up but when I follow God and his will for my direction in life I am enough. I am in a life long process of learning God and following wisdom and grace and guidance for my life. As I grow older and continue to put God first, Proverbs 31 becomes a celebration of life not a checklist.
My struggles may make others see me as not enough or as damaged goods, but God sees the grace and glory and love through it all.
At the end of the day God sees me and sees me as redeemed. I will always and forever be thankful that I can be seen through God and not just through my damage
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